Humpty Dumpty
who sat on some walls.
Sometimes I wonder,
did he ever have balls?
I talked to the king's horses,
and some of his men.
And they still laugh and giggle
at what they saw then.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Let's talk politics.
The following is the opinion of the supreme ruler of Carameliciousness, the loneliest blog on Earth. Anything the author types is strictly opinion based and should not be taken seriously.
If you haven't heard (*gasp*), Canada is facing a political crisis. The Conservative minority government is facing the prospect of having to deal with a coalition by the Liberals, NDP and BQC.
Personally, a coalition is a waste of time, money and effort and serves only to undermine the principles of a democracy.
Canadians have made their choice and their decision is Harper. Essentially, what the Liberals are saying is that Canadians are stupid and shouldn't be left to think for themselves. They did not know what they were doing when they voted for Harper. We're the true leaders; let's go against their vote and form a coalition.
Even a child will recognize this as a case of "Sore loser".
If you haven't heard (*gasp*), Canada is facing a political crisis. The Conservative minority government is facing the prospect of having to deal with a coalition by the Liberals, NDP and BQC.
Personally, a coalition is a waste of time, money and effort and serves only to undermine the principles of a democracy.
Canadians have made their choice and their decision is Harper. Essentially, what the Liberals are saying is that Canadians are stupid and shouldn't be left to think for themselves. They did not know what they were doing when they voted for Harper. We're the true leaders; let's go against their vote and form a coalition.
Even a child will recognize this as a case of "Sore loser".
D.U.F.F.
If you came here looking for fictional beer, I'm afraid you've coming to the wrong blog. As for pictures of Duff, you're better off with google. If you came here looking for D.U.F.F. then you are at the right place.
D.U.F.F.
The concept just blows my mind. What does it stand for? Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Ring any bells? No? Allow me to coninue.
In a group of hot chicks, there is always one ugly fat chick that tags along. She is usually referred to as the DUFF. Her primary objective is to make the hot chicks look even hotter. Her secondary objective? Scapegoat. If a nerdy guy approaches, it is the DUFF's job to distract him so that the hot chicks may escape.
Does this sound cruel? I guess. Does this sound realistic? Absolutely fucking positively. Think about it. In every group of hot girls is an ugly one.
This brings me to the second part of my investigation. HOW? How do DUFF's exist?
This question brings me to the clean streets of Toronto. After walking around a parking meter for about half a minute, I came to my conclusion. This is a matter of relativity. A group of girls is never equally hot; some are less hot than others. In the eyes of a man, the least attractive female in a group, even if they were attractive alone, will be deemed the DUFF.
That's all.
Remember DUFF's. It's not your fault, it's your friends'. Find some new friends.
D.U.F.F.
The concept just blows my mind. What does it stand for? Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Ring any bells? No? Allow me to coninue.
In a group of hot chicks, there is always one ugly fat chick that tags along. She is usually referred to as the DUFF. Her primary objective is to make the hot chicks look even hotter. Her secondary objective? Scapegoat. If a nerdy guy approaches, it is the DUFF's job to distract him so that the hot chicks may escape.
Does this sound cruel? I guess. Does this sound realistic? Absolutely fucking positively. Think about it. In every group of hot girls is an ugly one.
This brings me to the second part of my investigation. HOW? How do DUFF's exist?
This question brings me to the clean streets of Toronto. After walking around a parking meter for about half a minute, I came to my conclusion. This is a matter of relativity. A group of girls is never equally hot; some are less hot than others. In the eyes of a man, the least attractive female in a group, even if they were attractive alone, will be deemed the DUFF.
That's all.
Remember DUFF's. It's not your fault, it's your friends'. Find some new friends.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The Attic
The Attic
-Henry
Up the stairs,
I climb.
and down,
the rope I pull.
Up the stairs once more,
The attic, dared I go?
The ancient smell of history
wafts gently through;
a sense of nostalgia
and sorrow
drifts across the barren room.
I settle on the
rigid rocking chair
and a deep breath, I take;
It's been many years
It's been 40 years
Ever since you left
The war that tore our hearts apart
and cast them into flames
the pain,
the loss,
I suffered.
Never again.
A photo sits upon its place.
what's left of it,
Just sepia;
It is too hard to see.
I squint,
to no success.
I light a candle,
and shadows
dance against the walls
like men of savage past
I gaze once more upon the photo
You're here with me at last.
-Henry
Up the stairs,
I climb.
and down,
the rope I pull.
Up the stairs once more,
The attic, dared I go?
The ancient smell of history
wafts gently through;
a sense of nostalgia
and sorrow
drifts across the barren room.
I settle on the
rigid rocking chair
and a deep breath, I take;
It's been many years
It's been 40 years
Ever since you left
The war that tore our hearts apart
and cast them into flames
the pain,
the loss,
I suffered.
Never again.
A photo sits upon its place.
what's left of it,
Just sepia;
It is too hard to see.
I squint,
to no success.
I light a candle,
and shadows
dance against the walls
like men of savage past
I gaze once more upon the photo
You're here with me at last.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Internet Vocab [Pt.2]
Last time I told you about terms that you SHOULD use on the internet i.e. lagfag. Now, I'm going to tell you about the words that you should NEVER use as they make you look STUPID.
1) Fack,Feck,Fck,Fcuk
All these words are used in place of 'fuck', usually by children who do not have the guts to swear. Fack, feck and fck do not offend people; frankly, it does the opposite. Anyone with an IQ over 100 will laugh when they see 'feck'. Fcuk on the other hand, is a brand of clothing, which to be honest, is not very comfortable. Don't be one of the people using fack/feck/fck/fcuk, it's just plain stupid.
2) Retarted
Come on. I'm sure people who suffer from mental retardation know how to spell this one. Retard[suffix]. It's that simple. A tart is a delicious pastry, usually very high in carbs. A retard is someone who uses the term 'retart'.
3)lol
It's not a bad acronym. It's just misused often. lol - laugh out loud; it implies that something funny has occurred.
Usage of "lol"
a) Jerry's fart sounds like a smoke grenade. lol. [correct - a smoky fart is indeed funny]
b) Jerry's fart smells like shit. lol. [incorrect - if you can smell shit, you should be running away, not laughing]
1) Fack,Feck,Fck,Fcuk
All these words are used in place of 'fuck', usually by children who do not have the guts to swear. Fack, feck and fck do not offend people; frankly, it does the opposite. Anyone with an IQ over 100 will laugh when they see 'feck'. Fcuk on the other hand, is a brand of clothing, which to be honest, is not very comfortable. Don't be one of the people using fack/feck/fck/fcuk, it's just plain stupid.
2) Retarted
Come on. I'm sure people who suffer from mental retardation know how to spell this one. Retard[suffix]. It's that simple. A tart is a delicious pastry, usually very high in carbs. A retard is someone who uses the term 'retart'.
3)lol
It's not a bad acronym. It's just misused often. lol - laugh out loud; it implies that something funny has occurred.
Usage of "lol"
a) Jerry's fart sounds like a smoke grenade. lol. [correct - a smoky fart is indeed funny]
b) Jerry's fart smells like shit. lol. [incorrect - if you can smell shit, you should be running away, not laughing]
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Potato chips =]
Potato Chips
-Henry
Potato chips, potato chips;
Your fats and things
that plague my hips.
Humpty Dumpty, Lays and more
I'll look just like
a giant whore.
I'd rather you be trans fats free
It'll make us happy, you and me
It'll slim us down,
We'll see our feet;
It'll cut down all our excess meat
(which on the bus, will clear up seats)
So just sit down and hear me out
Unless you'd like to see me pout.
These chips of yours that line our shelves
that'll send us on our way to hell.
Instead, lets have some nice fresh fruit
An alternative; a healthy route.
An apple, orange, a kiwi too
Don't you know it's good for you?
-Henry
Potato chips, potato chips;
Your fats and things
that plague my hips.
Humpty Dumpty, Lays and more
I'll look just like
a giant whore.
I'd rather you be trans fats free
It'll make us happy, you and me
It'll slim us down,
We'll see our feet;
It'll cut down all our excess meat
(which on the bus, will clear up seats)
So just sit down and hear me out
Unless you'd like to see me pout.
These chips of yours that line our shelves
that'll send us on our way to hell.
Instead, lets have some nice fresh fruit
An alternative; a healthy route.
An apple, orange, a kiwi too
Don't you know it's good for you?
Monday, November 10, 2008
Internet Gaming Terminology
For as long as anyone can remember, the online gaming scene has been plagued with idiots who insist of manipulating the English language for reasons known only to them. These manipulations consist mainly and solely of words created to compensate for the stupidity of the player and their lack of an extensive vocabulary. For people like you and I (the smart ones), we dislike using these new words, but we must learn them so that we may communicate with these online savages. When in Rome!
The following is a list of gaming terms that one MUST KNOW in order to successfully blend in with the cyberscum.
gg - stands for 'good grief'; usually used to describe an undesirable situation
"gg, that idiot has no idea what he's talking about"
lolphag (aka lolfag, fag, dumbass etc) - someone who annoys you
"This guy's such a lolfag, he's turning right when he should clearly be turning left.
faglump - this one is commonly mistaken with lolphag. A faglump is someone who doesn't know what they're doing. As a result, they suck at the game
"This faglump needs to get some skills"
lagfag - originated from lag and fag. describes someone who does not have highspeed internet.
"lagfags like you need to stop using dialup and switch to T1"
sphigglesnump - a very common term; used to describe a person who looks like Brad Pitt in a banana costume
"Check out that sphigglesnump's awesome pineapple costume"
Good news! Those are all the online gaming terms you'll ever encounter in your life!
As you can see, these words make absolutely no sense whatsoever but sadly, they exist. However, it is absolutely necessary to add these terms to your vocab list so you may have a successful gaming career.
Now that you've learned everything you need to know, go play some CS1.6 you faglump!
The following is a list of gaming terms that one MUST KNOW in order to successfully blend in with the cyberscum.
gg - stands for 'good grief'; usually used to describe an undesirable situation
"gg, that idiot has no idea what he's talking about"
lolphag (aka lolfag, fag, dumbass etc) - someone who annoys you
"This guy's such a lolfag, he's turning right when he should clearly be turning left.
faglump - this one is commonly mistaken with lolphag. A faglump is someone who doesn't know what they're doing. As a result, they suck at the game
"This faglump needs to get some skills"
lagfag - originated from lag and fag. describes someone who does not have highspeed internet.
"lagfags like you need to stop using dialup and switch to T1"
sphigglesnump - a very common term; used to describe a person who looks like Brad Pitt in a banana costume
"Check out that sphigglesnump's awesome pineapple costume"
Good news! Those are all the online gaming terms you'll ever encounter in your life!
As you can see, these words make absolutely no sense whatsoever but sadly, they exist. However, it is absolutely necessary to add these terms to your vocab list so you may have a successful gaming career.
Now that you've learned everything you need to know, go play some CS1.6 you faglump!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Back from Geneva
Just got back from Geneva park, was really fun, very tired, no can type proper sentence.
But seriously though, it was a lot of fun and it was a great experience. It'll definitely be something I'll remember for almost the rest of my life.
Day 1 was pretty much the bulk of the trip. Once we got there, we checked into our rooms and immediately proceeded to eat lunch (a really fancy vegetable pizza and this weird burrito roll sandwich thing =S). After that, we moved onto the actual leadership activities; we went into a conference room and conferenced (duh) for about an hour or two. Then we went into the forest to play some 'trust developing' and 'team' games which consisted of low rope courses and balancing beams. Sounds boring but it's really fun with friends. Trust me. 2 hours later, we we're back in for dinner (roast beef, garden salad and potatoes yum! ^^) and had another conference then after (comprised mainly of acting, singing and Lego). Then it was free time which was comprised of volleyball, movies, food and intense chillaxing till around 5 or 6 in the morning. Then we went back to our rooms for about an hour of sleep before breakfast.
Day 2: I woke up a bit earlier than most people and went out for a bit of a walk. Although it was freezing cold, I found it to be a refreshing experience; the scenery was amazing and there was nothing but a sense of tranquility. About an hour later I went back for breakfast, which was absolutely delicious. Bacon, sausages, eggs, cereal and some other stuff. After, we had some more free time and a final conference before checking out and going home.
The trip back was definitely more fun that the trip to; as a whole, the entire group was definitely tighter knit and was as if we've known each other for months.
That was my trip, now if you'll excuse me, I definitely need some more sleep =]
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Pre-midlife crisis
My grades are slipping, my life has lost its sparkle, and in a way, I've lost the will to live.
Will I kill myself? Naww :D Have I been diagnosed with clinical depression? Probably?
But seriously folks, there's nothing for me to look forward to; I've seen my future and it looks as dull as a rock.
/sad face =(
Will I kill myself? Naww :D Have I been diagnosed with clinical depression? Probably?
But seriously folks, there's nothing for me to look forward to; I've seen my future and it looks as dull as a rock.
/sad face =(
Monday, November 3, 2008
Stressin' and depressin'
So little time, so much to do (I'd rather spend my days with you =] )
With university applications around the corner, graduation photo/message deadlines approaching and the oh-so-common massive amounts of homework to complete, I'm barely managing to keep myself from drowning in the proverbal sea of stress. To make it even worse, I have to spend a precious weekend at a freakin' retreat in the middle of nowhere for my leadersh*t class! Of course, it makes perfect sense; you can never truly be a leader until you've been to the middle of nowhere doing absolutely nothing important.
That's all. It's like my posts are getting shorter. shorter, repetitive and incomplete. shorter, repetitive and incomple
With university applications around the corner, graduation photo/message deadlines approaching and the oh-so-common massive amounts of homework to complete, I'm barely managing to keep myself from drowning in the proverbal sea of stress. To make it even worse, I have to spend a precious weekend at a freakin' retreat in the middle of nowhere for my leadersh*t class! Of course, it makes perfect sense; you can never truly be a leader until you've been to the middle of nowhere doing absolutely nothing important.
That's all. It's like my posts are getting shorter. shorter, repetitive and incomplete. shorter, repetitive and incomple
Friday, October 24, 2008
Oh Noez!
It has come to my attention that,
No one is everyone going to read this blog and all this is will turn out as a pitifully written online journal.
It pains to say this but;
I will go on! I will continue this pitifully written online journal for the sake of writing a pitifully written online journal.
No one is everyone going to read this blog and all this is will turn out as a pitifully written online journal.
It pains to say this but;
I will go on! I will continue this pitifully written online journal for the sake of writing a pitifully written online journal.
iCan't Make Up My Mind
Bad news then good news (and not the other way around):
Bad news: My sister managed to get a massive dent on her mp3 player, so I gave her mine.
Good news: Now I have an excuse to by another one.
What features make a successful PMP? Let's see:
Bad news: My sister managed to get a massive dent on her mp3 player, so I gave her mine.
Good news: Now I have an excuse to by another one.
What features make a successful PMP? Let's see:
- Must be able to play audio/video of various formats
- Visually appealing GUI
- Expandable memory/ card slots (not necessary, but important nonetheless)
- Bluetooth
- WiFi and browser (Don't just give me one)
- A battery life that makes mine look short (no techjunky likes to outlive their devices)
- Touchscreen (us teens love to touch -wink wink-)
I've narrowed it down to a couple devices, all of which would make me shamelessly broke should I decide to purchase one!
iPod Touch
An iPod that has reached out and touched (haha) the hearts of millions. This PMP has almost everything listed about and then some. At around $200 CAD on ebay and 229+tax else where, this is a (relatively) good deal!
Archos x series, where x is an integer greater than 4
Essentially an iTouch, only bigger, both physically and storage wise. At a minimum of 30 gigs, this PMP wipes the floor with Apple when it comes to capacity. The only downside; it's pricy. That and you need to buy the addons i.e. the Opera browser, codecs. Outrageous(ly sexy)!
Finally, the Cowon O2/Q5/S9
In my eyes, their all the same, except the Q5 has greater storage and wifi. Subpar battery life, pretty GUI, good compatability; not exactly an impulse buy.
What does it come down to? Im getting an iTouch.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Snow Snow Snow ;D
Tuesday October 21, 2008
This first day of snow, up here in my (relatively(compared to mansions that are a few blocks away)) little home in Richmond Hill =D
Pretty? Yes!
Cold? Yep! (feels like -8'C)
Did I have to walk home in it? Sadly, yes ='(
That's all for now! Back to my trigonometry. COSINE 45 IS MY BEST FRIEND (lol loser...)
This first day of snow, up here in my (relatively(compared to mansions that are a few blocks away)) little home in Richmond Hill =D
Pretty? Yes!
Cold? Yep! (feels like -8'C)
Did I have to walk home in it? Sadly, yes ='(
That's all for now! Back to my trigonometry. COSINE 45 IS MY BEST FRIEND (lol loser...)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
First day of leadersh*t
To be honest, it wasn't so bad.
I got myself lost a bit before winding up at the half empty conference room where I was supposed to be. As soon as I entered, everyone turned at the same time and stared at me (creepy...). What is one supposed to do when that happens? Break the ice!
"HI GUYS =)"
And they all turn away like I'm crazy.
I take a seat, informally introduced myself to the guy sitting beside me, and proceed to fiddle with my phone. It's finally 10 o'clock and we start. Taking a quick scan of the room, its 15 guys, 1 girl (sausage fest D:). We do a quick introduction of everyone before we dive straight into the steaming pile of leadersh*t. For the next 2 hours, we discussed leaderly traits, played some games, danced o.O and went over the schedule for the next 4 months.
Note: I really need an iPod Touch because they are cool =)
I got myself lost a bit before winding up at the half empty conference room where I was supposed to be. As soon as I entered, everyone turned at the same time and stared at me (creepy...). What is one supposed to do when that happens? Break the ice!
"HI GUYS =)"
And they all turn away like I'm crazy.
I take a seat, informally introduced myself to the guy sitting beside me, and proceed to fiddle with my phone. It's finally 10 o'clock and we start. Taking a quick scan of the room, its 15 guys, 1 girl (sausage fest D:). We do a quick introduction of everyone before we dive straight into the steaming pile of leadersh*t. For the next 2 hours, we discussed leaderly traits, played some games, danced o.O and went over the schedule for the next 4 months.
Note: I really need an iPod Touch because they are cool =)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A bit about myself
I thought it might be nice to post a little bit of information on myself for those of you who would like to know.
I am a 17 year old aspiring dentist-to-be with dreams of somehow becoming the world's first trillionaire. How that's going to happen, I have no idea. I'll probably invent an incredibly alternative source of energy that will revolutionize the world as we know it i.e. cool (not cold) fusion! Back on topic: my interests aren't exactly extravagent aside from my taste in cars. I enjoy reading, playing a nice game of tennis, taking things apart and posting on my wonderful blogalog =) Did I mention I love cars? No? I love cars! Exotics and muscles in particular.
Personalitywise, I'm incredibly introverted. If given the choice of seeing a movie with friends and writing short stories, I would choose the latter. Im somewhat picky when it comes to the people I associate with; essentially, anyone who isn't as stupid as a rock and has a sense of humour could be my friend. I dont have many friends. Either everyone around me is rock stupid or no one is funny. I honestly hope it isnt the second. Life without phunny would plain suck.
I am a 17 year old aspiring dentist-to-be with dreams of somehow becoming the world's first trillionaire. How that's going to happen, I have no idea. I'll probably invent an incredibly alternative source of energy that will revolutionize the world as we know it i.e. cool (not cold) fusion! Back on topic: my interests aren't exactly extravagent aside from my taste in cars. I enjoy reading, playing a nice game of tennis, taking things apart and posting on my wonderful blogalog =) Did I mention I love cars? No? I love cars! Exotics and muscles in particular.
Personalitywise, I'm incredibly introverted. If given the choice of seeing a movie with friends and writing short stories, I would choose the latter. Im somewhat picky when it comes to the people I associate with; essentially, anyone who isn't as stupid as a rock and has a sense of humour could be my friend. I dont have many friends. Either everyone around me is rock stupid or no one is funny. I honestly hope it isnt the second. Life without phunny would plain suck.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Leadersh*t Program
Bad news: My parents made me sign up for a leadership program (lame -.-)
Worse news: I had to write a short paragraph on why they should accept me into the program
Horrible news: I got in >=o
Yippee! I'm going to a leadership program strictly for quiet Asian kids (seriously! it says so on the pamphlet). Kinda (nevermind, it's incredibly) stupid. Why just Asians? Do they follow a supremist ideology? Does it matter now that I HAVE TO GO? Naww =D
Am I quiet? Absolutely not; only at home (which is probably why my parents wanted to send me to this hellhole in the first place).
General info on the place:
Cost: 200 bucks
Requirements:
To graduate, you are required to meet all of the following criteria:
· To attend the weekend retreat at Geneva Park,
· To attend all sessions, including: leadership training sessions, sessions with role models and student models, and the Toastmasters Youth Leadership Program sessions
· To complete at least ten hours of voluntary work at the North York YMCA.
Duration: Every Saturday, 3 hours per session, 4 months
On a lighter note: maybe this won't be so bad =/ Meet some new people, (hopefully) meet some ladies =D, (gasp! dare I say it?) learn something?
If you want to (are you insane?) or would like to send your child (how could you!?) to this program, feel free to send me an email; they have this every year in the autumn.
Worse news: I had to write a short paragraph on why they should accept me into the program
Horrible news: I got in >=o
Yippee! I'm going to a leadership program strictly for quiet Asian kids (seriously! it says so on the pamphlet). Kinda (nevermind, it's incredibly) stupid. Why just Asians? Do they follow a supremist ideology? Does it matter now that I HAVE TO GO? Naww =D
Am I quiet? Absolutely not; only at home (which is probably why my parents wanted to send me to this hellhole in the first place).
General info on the place:
Cost: 200 bucks
Requirements:
To graduate, you are required to meet all of the following criteria:
· To attend the weekend retreat at Geneva Park,
· To attend all sessions, including: leadership training sessions, sessions with role models and student models, and the Toastmasters Youth Leadership Program sessions
· To complete at least ten hours of voluntary work at the North York YMCA.
Duration: Every Saturday, 3 hours per session, 4 months
On a lighter note: maybe this won't be so bad =/ Meet some new people, (hopefully) meet some ladies =D, (gasp! dare I say it?) learn something?
If you want to (are you insane?) or would like to send your child (how could you!?) to this program, feel free to send me an email; they have this every year in the autumn.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Can't believe this!
I'm actually bringing myself to starting a blog! The idea came to me in 2006 but I haven't strapped my butt down to start it until now. I have no idea what's going to happen here; I might post some of the 'I can't be bothered to listen to my teacher' comics or simply rant and rave about my awesome life!
The reason I'm starting this blog is to work on my (creative?) writing skills. If you, my wonderful and incredibly sexy readers, find my writing to be atrociously boring, feel free to make me cry (criticize) =)
The reason I'm starting this blog is to work on my (creative?) writing skills. If you, my wonderful and incredibly sexy readers, find my writing to be atrociously boring, feel free to make me cry (criticize) =)
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