Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty
who sat on some walls.
Sometimes I wonder,
did he ever have balls?
I talked to the king's horses,
and some of his men.
And they still laugh and giggle
at what they saw then.

Let's talk politics.

The following is the opinion of the supreme ruler of Carameliciousness, the loneliest blog on Earth. Anything the author types is strictly opinion based and should not be taken seriously.

If you haven't heard (*gasp*), Canada is facing a political crisis. The Conservative minority government is facing the prospect of having to deal with a coalition by the Liberals, NDP and BQC.
Personally, a coalition is a waste of time, money and effort and serves only to undermine the principles of a democracy.
Canadians have made their choice and their decision is Harper. Essentially, what the Liberals are saying is that Canadians are stupid and shouldn't be left to think for themselves. They did not know what they were doing when they voted for Harper. We're the true leaders; let's go against their vote and form a coalition.

Even a child will recognize this as a case of "Sore loser".

D.U.F.F.

If you came here looking for fictional beer, I'm afraid you've coming to the wrong blog. As for pictures of Duff, you're better off with google. If you came here looking for D.U.F.F. then you are at the right place.

D.U.F.F.

The concept just blows my mind. What does it stand for? Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Ring any bells? No? Allow me to coninue.

In a group of hot chicks, there is always one ugly fat chick that tags along. She is usually referred to as the DUFF. Her primary objective is to make the hot chicks look even hotter. Her secondary objective? Scapegoat. If a nerdy guy approaches, it is the DUFF's job to distract him so that the hot chicks may escape.

Does this sound cruel? I guess. Does this sound realistic? Absolutely fucking positively. Think about it. In every group of hot girls is an ugly one.

This brings me to the second part of my investigation. HOW? How do DUFF's exist?

This question brings me to the clean streets of Toronto. After walking around a parking meter for about half a minute, I came to my conclusion. This is a matter of relativity. A group of girls is never equally hot; some are less hot than others. In the eyes of a man, the least attractive female in a group, even if they were attractive alone, will be deemed the DUFF.

That's all.

Remember DUFF's. It's not your fault, it's your friends'. Find some new friends.

The Attic

The Attic
-Henry

Up the stairs,
I climb.
and down,
the rope I pull.
Up the stairs once more,
The attic, dared I go?

The ancient smell of history
wafts gently through;
a sense of nostalgia
and sorrow
drifts across the barren room.

I settle on the
rigid rocking chair
and a deep breath, I take;
It's been many years
It's been 40 years

Ever since you left

The war that tore our hearts apart
and cast them into flames
the pain,
the loss,
I suffered.
Never again.

A photo sits upon its place.
what's left of it,
Just sepia;
It is too hard to see.
I squint,
to no success.

I light a candle,
and shadows
dance against the walls
like men of savage past

I gaze once more upon the photo
You're here with me at last.

Internet Vocab [Pt.2]

Last time I told you about terms that you SHOULD use on the internet i.e. lagfag. Now, I'm going to tell you about the words that you should NEVER use as they make you look STUPID.

1) Fack,Feck,Fck,Fcuk
All these words are used in place of 'fuck', usually by children who do not have the guts to swear. Fack, feck and fck do not offend people; frankly, it does the opposite. Anyone with an IQ over 100 will laugh when they see 'feck'. Fcuk on the other hand, is a brand of clothing, which to be honest, is not very comfortable. Don't be one of the people using fack/feck/fck/fcuk, it's just plain stupid.

2) Retarted
Come on. I'm sure people who suffer from mental retardation know how to spell this one. Retard[suffix]. It's that simple. A tart is a delicious pastry, usually very high in carbs. A retard is someone who uses the term 'retart'.

3)lol
It's not a bad acronym. It's just misused often. lol - laugh out loud; it implies that something funny has occurred.

Usage of "lol"

a) Jerry's fart sounds like a smoke grenade. lol. [correct - a smoky fart is indeed funny]

b) Jerry's fart smells like shit. lol. [incorrect - if you can smell shit, you should be running away, not laughing]